I

fled Nigeria after my parents were kidnapped and murdered. Fearing for my life, I left my three-month-old with my aunt and made the journey to England. It was not an easy decision, and I still don’t know where the courage came from but every step of the way I told myself I was doing this to make a better way for my child.  

Once there, I sought asylum and moved to Wolverhampton, where I met someone from the same background as me. He listened empathetically to my story and seemed like a very nice person so we became fast friends and eventually lovers.  

I was very lonely, and things were not progressing as quickly as I hoped. So meeting someone who spoke the same language was a relief and I confided in him. Everything was going on smoothly and he said all the right things until the relationship became intimate and I found out I was pregnant. When I told him, he demanded that I have an abortion. When I refused, he became violent and threatened me. 

Afraid to report him, I stayed with a friend until I had the baby. He later apologised and promised to take care of me and the baby, so I added his name to the birth certificate which he collected and kept. However, his intentions were selfish. He only wanted to use it to claim benefits that I was not entitled to. He soon became abusive again.  

When I asked him for the birth certificate, he got really angry and violently threw my baby onto the bed. I left and sought help. At the hospital, it was discovered that my baby had a breathing issue and needed emergency surgery. 

A doctor at the hospital referred me to The Haven. They provided me with a safe place to stay, emotional support, counselling, and legal assistance. They also gave me some essentials for myself and the baby as I was starting afresh with nothing. They helped me secure residency and a restraining order against my ex-partner. Now, my baby is healthy, and I feel safe. My child in Nigeria is well, and I am exploring options to reunite with him. My advice to anyone in a similar situation is to recognise that love does not hurt. Just get out of there. 

Tinu’s name has been changed to protect her identity. Images are for illustration purposes only.